BUT, since Reagan is turning 1 in just four short days, I wanted to blog about her first year. I'm going to split it into 4 posts. I think writing about the first year now at the end of the year will be much different than if I had blogged all throughout the year- I can look at many things with much more humor and wisdom now that they are in the past! Hopefully during Reagan's second year I will find time (maybe?!) to blog more often because motherhood just lends itself to too many funny, heart wrenching, dirty and loving moments not to!
Month One
In a Nutshell- Ok, if I was going to really give it in a nutshell I'd say "sore nipples, no sleep, crazy hormones, sore nipples, lack of personal hygiene, tons of poop, sore nipples and the most profound love for a tiny little human being you can ever imagine."
This month is pretty much a blur. The very first night home from the hospital Reagan wouldn't sleep without being held, so Ben and I took turns sleeping while the other one held Reagan while she slept. Many nights I was feeding Reagan basically non-stop until 4 or 5am when she might've finally fallen asleep for a couple hour stretch. I didn't sleep for more than 2 hours at a time for the first two weeks. At 2 weeks, I ended up in the hospital with mastitis- without Reagan. I missed her like crazy and cried my eyes out the whole time I was there because I was separated from my baby. Luckily, I only ended up staying there one night. This was Father's Day weekend, so Ben spent his first Father's Day caring for Reagan alone (well, with the help of my mom when she wasn't with me in the hospital). After that ordeal, I saw my lactation consultant again and after that didn't help I went to exclusively pumping by the time Reagan was 3 weeks, which I continued until she was 7 months. Having so much trouble nursing Reagan and deciding to exclusively pump was the most heartbreaking part of this year for me because I never tried so hard to make anything work in my life, but in the end I really believe the way we did it was right for us and I'm proud of all the work 7 months of pumping requires!
This month was all about basic survival- feeding Reagan and remembering to feed myself. That and just being so astoundingly grateful for and amazed by this beautiful, brand new, healthy baby girl!
Most Memorable Moments- 1) All the bonding time Reagan spent snuggled up sleeping on my chest, skin to skin, 2) the day Reagan pooped all over Ben and I laughed so hard (well, really it didn't take much), I peed my pants, 3) all the time I spent topless in the same room with my mother and my husband!
Biggest Lesson Learned- Nothing and nobody can prepare you for the perfect storm right after childbirth that includes having every female body part bleeding and in pain, learning to breastfeed, dealing with crazy, out of whack hormones on less sleep than even everyone told you you would have!
Editor's Note: If you're pregnant and reading this right now, keep reading- it gets better!!
Month One Pics
Beautiful girl! And she looks like her dad!
We got to know this "poop face" very quickly!
A peaceful moment!
Month Two
In a Nutshell- What a difference a month makes! Already Reagan started more or less sleeping through the night at about 6 weeks. We moved to RI and lived with my mom and Bobby for 3 weeks before our house was ready. I loved my Guinness. Reagan and I started going to baby yoga at Bellani- and Bellani has been a savior for me! Reagan and I have had so much fun there and having met so many other new moms has been amazing. I went to another lactation consultant at Bellani and got back to nursing a little bit for a couple days before deciding once and for all that pumping and bottle feeding was better for us.
I barely saw summer. I was a paranoid mom. There was the day I thought I gave Reagan heat stroke by going out for a walk, the day I thought I accidentally gave her shaken baby syndrome by rocking her too vigorously, and I always thought she was starving! Ben wanted to throw all my baby books away because every time I read them, I was convinced we were doing everything wrong. But lo and behold, my tiny baby was starting to chub up and my very fussy girl was starting to smile!
Most Memorable Moments- The first 5-6 hour stretch of uninterrupted sleep which ended with me running to her crib in a panic, "my god, is she ok?!" Her first smiles.
Biggest Lesson Learned- Babies are actually pretty durable!
Month Two Pics
The best!
The smile that could light up a room!
She loved her wubba nub (a little too much)!
Month Three
In a Nutshell- We moved into our new house- it was a lot of work! Ben started his new job as CO of the Morro Bay, which this month wasn't too bad because he wasn't away overnight much. For me the realization that maternity leave wasn't going to last forever began to set in. I was fortunate to find another job with Raytheon in RI- and it even came with a promotion. But with this came A LOT of apprehension. During month 3, I had to go to a dental appt and I left Reagan with my dad and Claire when I went. I knew it was going to be a quick appointment, but Reagan was crying when I left the house and I was convinced I was the only person who knew what to do when she cried. I hated leaving this way and so I cried all the way to my appointment, most of the way through my appointment and probably the drive home too. I was maybe gone an hour and it was torture! This baby was in me for 9 months and only I had control of taking care of her then- it was harder than I ever imagined to learn that other people are capable of watching her and can even do a good job of it- of course not as good as I can though :-) It still amazes me how I went from being very pregnant and wondering if I was even qualified to take care of a baby to thinking I was the only one who could care for my baby. How was I ever going to go back to work?!
Reagan still slept a lot during the day this month- all in her swing- that thing was a savior! And she was sleeping well in her crib at night. When she would nap it was a toss up of whether I would go back to sleep, shower or eat or if I was really, really lucky maybe all of the above- of course that was after I pumped. I watched way too much daytime TV- Barefoot Contessa and Giada became my best friends, although I rarely cooked. Reagan was still a relatively fussy baby- not colicky- but she was just feisty in my belly, feisty after she was born and still can be as an almost toddler. She is just a girl who knows what she wants and will let you know it until she gets it- she's not shy!
Most Memorable Moments- Going out to dinner- she was always so good! Nobody would ever know she was there- she didn't make a peep! And I got out of the house!!
Biggest Lesson Learned- Nothing and nobody can prepare you for how much you will love this child or how hard it can be to leave your baby when she is upset, even for a 15 minute dental exam! Also, that you can leave for an hour, even when she is upset, and she will be ok! Sometimes she even smiles when her mom isn't around- shocker right?!
Ben takes Command
"Mom, what am I wearing?" Having a girl wouldn't be as fun without outfits like this.
Almost 3 months and so sweet! Getting calmer and happier by the day :-)
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